no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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