similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
