just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
