Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
