at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
