stop calling my apartment porn island.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
