I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
