I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
