i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
