Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize