tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
