Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
