roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
