I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize