I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize