I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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