I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
