She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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