Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
