oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
