I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
