McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
