I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i believe in u and ur pee
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