Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
