He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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