i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
