that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize