based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We have started to decorate penises.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
