Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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