At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Couch. On fire.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
