I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
