I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
