you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i believe in u and ur pee
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
