Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
