Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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