i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize