idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
