Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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