you traded sex for a burrito?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
