I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
