she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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