Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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