I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
