I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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