If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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