HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
