you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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