areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
