is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
