he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
