Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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