My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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