Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
