Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
