thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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