So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
