when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
