dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
