How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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