Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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