Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Randomize
