Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
