I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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