i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
