i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize