This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize