She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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