I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
